Saturday, June 30, 2012

We were in our first tornado today, nbd.

Winds were 91 MPH, folks!


The clouds let us know that something was brewing.
Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds,
    how he thunders from his pavilion? Job 36:29 

Thankfully, the little people were tucked away
in an emergency shelter during their library visit...


Here are the  troopers, making light of a potentially scary situation. Thankful C kept cool, and captured this moment.
Humbling.
Thankfully no one was seriously hurt.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Wee thing

Someday, Spence and I will
share a big laugh over this pic, when
he wasn't much bigger than the cereal box.
Precious, precious times.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A word about swing sets, lollipops & other hazards?

We had a bit of the oh-so-fun summer flu 
last week, which afforded lots and lots of down-time.
This means lots of laying as still as possible while you pop in a movie or two to entertain the littles for you.
Recommendation: Finding Nemo. Great movie. 
As I watched it, I had a brand new appreciation for
paranoid Papa, Marlon. Not sure if it was the fever that made 
this such a profound time of parenting introspection, but hey...whatever it was, it worked.
So, it's been six months since Spencer's first seizure-
 one of the scariest days of my life. 
But as time goes on, I'm learning to cope with the experiences, grapple with fears, and educate myself. 
Six months into it, I would by no means say that I'm an expert at epilepsy at all. I'm figuring things out as I go; my own personal anxieties among them.
And I'm learning that epilepsy management is not that different from basic, everyday parenting.
 In a very basic sense, it is pursuing 
the actualization of the hopes and dreams you have 
for your children. The pursuit is monumental in scope,
 daunting with it's challenges, and is complicated

 by the idea that letting go is sometimes
 just as important as actively being right there in the mix.
One of the bigger hopes is that your little people 
make it through childhood in one piece.
 For me, it's in the Top 2, priority-wise.
Safety is a tricky thing, particularly when fear is involved. 
This is where I can really sympathize with poor Marlon. 
I mean, he had a legitimate reason to camp out in fear.    
He lost his wife and family, after all. And his remaining
child had a disabilty. That kind of fear is so real, it almost has a taste to it. 
My memory doesn't have to think back too far to remember
frantically trying revive a blueish, unconscious baby. And time froze. And it happened again and again, without warning. 
 You counter this by educating-or over-educating yourself with several "what if"
scenarios, in an attempt to be prepared.
 "What if this happens on the jungle gym, or on a bike, or while they are eating something choke able. "What if they are swimming or fall on their face and bash out their teeth?" Or worse yet, "What if it happens and I'm not there?" And you quickly realize that you have no control. Zero. 
And so whatever control you DO have, can be amped up and applied like Marlon did. Over-protective, and stifling.

The problem with safety being your primary concern, is that 
at the core of it all, you are governed by fear. And the world is viewed as a booby-trapped, scary place. Not a place of beauty, and potential. And this is NOT the world I want to raise my kids in; epilepsy or not.
...Perfect love drives out all fear, because
fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
I have found that living life waiting for a seizure, or the other  proverbial shoe to drop, simply makes me fearful and sad. So I'm attempting to practice a dance that marries prudence with optimism. 
Which means yes, he will get swimming lessons; he just won't go alone (but, come to think of it, most people don't swim alone anyway).  I will allow the day to dictate if there are warning seizure-triggers or not. Apart from that, we get ahead of ourselves, and the LORD discourages this.
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34
Man, I'm so glad that Jesus said that! I'm so glad that He knows that this is the case!
I have no idea if Spencer will be the kind of guy that wants to spend his weekends rock climbing. But what if he does? Will I have raised him in such a way where he wont even entertain certain thoughts or dreams because of fear of the unknown? That, to me, is the scarier thought. So, the simple answer, or the simple prayer then, is for God's grace-
day by day. Minute by minute, grace.
Amen.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Some verses to cling to

And the verse of the week is...
thanks: http://www.scriptureartonline.com/files/QuickSiteImages/Isaiah_26-3_yellow_sunflower_8x10_esize.jpg

With this one as a very close second:

Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life ,
and we have believed, and have come to know,
that You
Are the Holy One
Of  GOD.

John 6:68

Monday, June 11, 2012

Sweetest things





The sweetest thing in my whole life has been the longing to find the place where all the beauty came from.
-C.S. Lewis

Sunday, June 10, 2012

"The Watered Lilies" ( a poem.)

The Master stood in His garden,
Among the lilies fair,
Which His own right hand had planted,
And trained with tend'rest care.

He looked at their snowy blossoms,
And marked with observant eye,
That the flowers were sadly drooping,
For their leaves were parched and dry.

"My lilies need to be watered,"
The Heavenly Master said,
"Wherein shall I draw it for them,
And raise each drooping head?"

Close to His feet on the pathway,
Empty, and frail and small,
an earthen vessel was lying,
Which seemed no use at all.

But the Master saw and raised it
 From the dust in which it lay,
And smiled, as He gently whispered,
"This shall do my work today:

"It is but an earthen vessel, 
But it lay so close to Me;
It is small, but it is empty-
That is all it needs to be."

So to the fountain He took it,
and filled it to the brim;
How glad was the earthen vessel
To be of some use to Him!

He poured forth the living water
Over His lilies fair,
Until the vessel was empty,
And again He filled it there.

He watered the drooping lilies
Until they revived again,
And the Master saw with pleasure,
That His labor was not in vain.
http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/photo/2793026800010625527tFmSrA
His own hand had drawn the water
Which refreshed the thirsty flowers;
But He used the earthen vessel 
To convey the living showers.

And to itself it whispered
As He laid it aside once more,
"Still will I lie in the pathway,
Just where I did before.

"Close would I keep to my Master,
Empty would I remain,
And perhaps some day He may use me
To water His garden again."
-Unknown

Friday, June 8, 2012

No sleep, and loving it.

Okay, I know that I'm uber-sappy, and it doesn't take much to make me cry, but I got up and rocked my baby in the rocking chair for over an hour tonight and loved every second of it. 
I mean, I cried the whole time.
 Granted-
 it was three in the morning, and I haven't had a full night sleep in over a year, but I can honestly say, that these were tears of gratitude. What a privilege it is to have moments like this one, and I can pick him up and basically rock him whenever I want. 

Sometimes when I get lost in things like Pintrest or the mall,  I can pine away for things that can beautify my surroundings... "If only" I had the re$ources for this or that. Many times working at home means you trade in your well-tailored preferences for Goodwill practicality. And that's okay. In fact, it's better than okay; when it comes right down to it, I wouldn't trade my time as a housewife and mom for all the Pottery Barn rooms in the world. Because when it comes to beauty, it doesn't get any better than this! Bless God! James 1:17


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Knows the needs

Woke up to a sweet sound this morning. Birds. Two of them. They sang and sang. And stayed and stayed. It got to the point where I said, "Huh, it's weird that they haven't flown away." Then, I decided that I would take a picture of them, but surely they would be gone by the time I found my camera...nope.
They stayed and posed. And sang for another ten minutes, which was a big deal. 
Little things

Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Matthew 6:8

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Who's that baby? Teething addition.

Oh man, poor Spence is going through a major case of the grumps. My mild mannered no-fuss baby is
going through the ringer with his teeth this week. 
Which means much discomfort and misery for him, and little-to-no sleep for me. 
-So remedy research has been bumped up on today's to-do list. 






Which is the culprit?

I can't help but cheer on people who come up with brilliant inventions. This one is
no exception.

So far, we have pretty good luck with these during the day... and we have less mess when 
we don't clip them for the actual popcicle. And he doesn't even seem to care.
Grumpy-yet-always-smoochable.

Friday, June 1, 2012

She came around

Thanks to Simple As That for this! Such a handy resource.


As we were preparing for our trip to NY, I remember charging up the camera and getting excited about capturing a slew of precious moments. The one I seemed most excited about was capturing the expressions of the grandparents meeting Spence for the first time. I'm big on  "firsts." 
Hindsight being what it is, I realize that every "first moment" introduction is not necessarily magical or precious. 
In fact, it has the potential for being a major let down for the adults and super awkward and intimidating for the child. But the build up is there, and of course, people can't wait to hold and hug. And who could blame them? I would be one of those people. 
I wanted to see the fireworks... the magical and intuitive sentiment that would pass between the generations. 
Our loved ones, of course, did not disappoint. They wore their love and devotion on their faces as the camera was clicking away. Our kids were a different story.
-At least one of them was.   
I have one that is quite independent. That is not to say that she is not affectionate, because she is.  But if she does not know you, and you are in her personal space, she will will let you know it. 
This is strange to me. I'm a extrovert / hugger. To be clear, disrespect is a non-negotiable family No-No, so we do insist upon a polite greeting at the very least. And Selah will give you that. But don't expect the fireworks. You have to earn those. She's definitely selective with her affection.   
 I can respect that. In fact, it reminded me that some of the sweetest things in life are patiently nurtured and gradual. They are NOT thrust upon us, forced and assumed. 

Love is patient and kind; it does not envy, or boast.
It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way...
1 Cor. 13:3,4

Thankfully, I have a nurturing and patient Dad. He was born to be a Poppy. He knew that he had 
his work cut out for him, and made a commitment to chip away at her heart one corny joke at a time. So every day, he would ask her what she'd like for breakfast, and every day she would coolly reply, and ignore his tired old, "Oh, you'd like some Green Eggs and Ham?" joke. And as he walked past her, he'd twirl her little pony tail in his finger, making a new sound effect every time  he did it: motorcycles, ducks, cows, clown horns. He pulled out all the silly tricks, and she would not give him the satisfaction of giggling and playing along. She was testing him big time. It was bittersweet to watch because he kept at it, rejection after rejection.
But finally by day six, she allowed him to play superheros with her. Naturally, he was the bad guy. But he played and played and took all sorts of bad guy abuse,
and in that moment, they bonded.
And though it was a week late, we finally had some fireworks.
(Poppy's new shadow)